Unfinished and inadvisable: written circa 2012

¨I watched this movie last night. It was called The Go-Getter. In it, some kid steals Zooey Deschanel’s car for a road trip, and it turns out she doesn’t mind because (spoiler) she’s been staring at him and fantasizing about him for a long time.

Zooey agrees to lend him her car on the condition that he call her periodically to regale her with crazy road trip stories. She’s quirky and mysterious yet down-to-earth. He likes her and he enjoys talking to her. He shares his secrets with her.

On his trip, he meets up with an old middle school crush, Jena Malone. She’s alluring and sexy, makes explicit reference to shaving her pubes, and is kind of a shameless cuntbag. She’s so sexy, though, that she causes the kid to cream his pants before he even has a chance to put it in her.

When he finally hooks up with Zooey, the kid fares much better. This sex is, after all, loving and gentle, comforting, almost maternal. He climbs on top of her, kisses her softly, looks at her like a lovesick puppy, and the moment of penetration dawns seemingly without so much as a hump or a lick – the perfect union of two dolls, their genital nubs just barely touching.

And in this moment, the film says, “The whore emasculates, but the madonna prefers eunuchs.”

Puritanism, patriarchy and feminism collide to form one digestible duality. The one with the appetite cannot be the one with who accepts and nurtures.